i_rock_a_little

For tori_speak:

"Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my HEART is sick of being
In chains"

The first time I heard this song, I thought it was perfect for me and so many of the women I know.

Why do we crucify ourselves? Because we're too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too not perfect. It really gets me, the part that says, "Everyday I crucify myself/ nothing I do it good enough for you. Not being good enough for standards someone else sets for her, and punishing herself instead of being mad that the standards are there in the first place. The "Finger[s] in the room" are accusatory, telling her she's not good enough, and she looks for saviors in the wrong places, "looking for a savior in these ditry streets/ looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets", which imply, to me, destructiveness, like she's jumping in and out of bed with men to fill a void and find a "savior".

When I hear this song, I think of breaking free from the chains, because "my HEART is sick of being/ in chains", the chains representing addiction, eating disorders, depression, self-harm, etc., because those are the chains but they are also the "savior"s.

I also love what she says about religion, and how it's rife with guilt, "Got enough guilt to start my own religion".

She equates hurt with love, almost, when she says "Got a kick for a dog/begging for love. / I gotta have my suffering/ so that I can have my cross", connecting, as well, suffering with reward.

Just my interpretation.

I hope this makes sense.


*on a lighter note* everytime I hear this song I think of the cheerleader toris in the video, and I have to laugh and attempt her dance across the screen, LOL.

FOR chaosity:

You asked for photos of my room, and here they are!

( I just want back in your head... )

I'm Friends Only.





Banner created by the wonderful lazyprincess!

I have been churning out the icons lately, and I used a lot of Joni Mitchell lyrics this time! I think they're pretty!

( Stevie's a pretty girl! )



( Let's feel the Lindsey/Stevie love... )

More icons! Of course all of the words are Stevie songs, and most of the songs that the words came from are demos or outtakes. I had a good time searching the Stevie Nicks Underground's extensive demo & outtake lyrics section!

( Angel I adore... )

I decided to type up my best poems and post them. I'm thinking of submitting them to our school's literary magazine, but I'm not sure yet. I thought I'd share them here first!

( Maybe I just want to break )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( A silent passing of souls )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( You've been swept away by the ocean )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( The door is slowly closing, dear, )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( A flood of tears )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Leave me alone )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( And now I fear )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Let me see )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( When will I see you again? )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Every day it's exactly the same )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( When at first I saw it )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Why am I always wishing )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( The things that scare me the most )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Sweet melodies )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Deicate, white )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Haiku )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Temptation )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Don't become jaded )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( I've been left out in the cold )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Look at her )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( Could you keep me from falling? )


PLEASE comment. I've been starved for comments lately, and I do respond. If you want to know what these are about, ask, and I might tell you if I remember and if it's not too personal.

Wooo I have a bunch of shippy X-Files icons here. Talk about therapy!

( MSR is good for the soul... )

More comments about the orchesrta concert: It took forever to get everyone tuned. It was insane! The celli (haha neat plural form of cello!) had trouble with all of the G strings (I believe) and it took about 5 minutes for JUST them to get it. The rest of us took a million minutes too. The girl-next-to-me's D string was horribly sharp, but I didn't know that, so I tuned mine to match hers DURING one of the songs (cuz I thought I was disgustingly flat). Then Mrs. Rennick fixed hers but not mine, so I had to fiddle with it through the whole next song. I hate tuning! Today I had a test in Algebra 1 and we didn't have that much time, so by the time it was 3:25 I was just bubbling in random answers that I eenie-meenie-minee-moe-ed (lol I do that ALL the time).

Sara, take any of these icons that you want, becasue they are mainly for you! Merry early Christmas!

( *Warning* Contains major MSR... )

I hope you like everything! *is excited*

from that picture... oooh!

I have like a billion new icons. Same rules apply!

( Stevie... )

( Goddesses... )

( Misc. )

I really should make some XF icons... but for now, you shall have to make due with Fleetwood Mac ones!

Stevie only (3)
Christine (1)
Lindsey/Stevie Relationship (Now dubbed by me LSR!) (6)

( Gold dust... )

I hope you like them!

Ok, I love making icons, and I do it all the time, but these are the first that I've actually shared. So be nice. Comment if taking, please credit with keywords! :)

( On to the Mac-ness )

Hope you like!